Kate Beckinsale, (sometimes good, sometimes bad, always appealing), stars in the new sequel Underworld: Awakening, which pits vampires and Lycans against the rest of us. (Isn’t that always the case? For random thoughts on reading or watching sequels, go here.) Anyway, just what is a Lycan, anyway? Has anyone ever seen one? Have YOU? (Outside of an investment bank hedge fund boardroom, that is.) What follows is the Wikipedia definition, along with two of my own.
1) Lycans are creatures that display a number of greatly enhanced physical attributes, including enhanced superhuman strength, reflexes, coordination, speed, agility, durability, endurance and regenerative abilities superior to that of most vampires while in their Lycan forms. They are able to crawl across walls with great ease and speed. They have equal or greater physical abilities to Vampires in their human forms. Their bite releases the Lycan virus, which can aggressively overtake a normal human’s physiology, causing them to become a Lycan as well.
2) Politicians or insider trading icons inside the Beltway or beyond, who control how they are perceived by mere mortals. They have godlike powers of persuasion, with the superhuman ability to leapfrog accountability, oversight, or calls for term limits. Their endurance is matched by a GPS-like sense of where Occupy Wall Street protesters are rallying. Their moves may go viral on Youtube, but they are immune to the effects of criticism, and their own viruses are often surreptitiously added even to the green tea served to Tea Partier$.
3) A Lycan is a can of lies (formerly reels of celluloid, now digital bytes or “lys” which divert us from the real world with endless new movies based on books about vampires.) May include special features, including a blooper reel, Charlie Rose interview, and deleted scenes (left out due to lack of 3D blood spatter.)